Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Dread!

I went by my office yesterday to drop something off and a wave of absolute dread blasted me!  I go back in a week and a half.  I knew this day would be coming, but when she was so tiny, it felt like it would be forever until I would have to go back.  Also, for my whole leave I was under the impression that I would be allowed to work from home Tuesdays and Thursdays.  Well, when chatting with the president of the company, apparently the office fell apart while I have been out and they need me all 5 days.  The two days at home was going to be like my saving grace. I have a meeting scheduled for next Thursday to discuss my return... I am VERY nervous to see what the end game picture is going to look like.  Knowing that I am not going to be the one with my girl everyday just makes me sad.  I know my MIL and the daycare I have planned will be good for Brynn - It's just not me though.

I love my job and never thought I could be the stay at home type... but I guess maybe I could be the SAHM type afterall.  I wouldn't want to be a one-income family though because there are so many things I want to afford for my daughter, so I know I am doing the right thing.  Also, I know I will truly cherish every moment when we are together when I go back to work.  It's just hard to face the reality of it all.

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